How has it been for me?
I've known some depression, but no worse than before, that's just me. I probably need it. In time the clouds usually roll away and the sun comes out again.
I never put back all the muscle I lost initially or got back all my former strength. But I recovered a lot and no longer look like Ghandi with anorexia. When I was really bad my hospital file said 'a thin, wasted man'. My hands and feet are often numb, I can't write very well (so I taught myself to type) and as the title implies I have learned how to stumble. I had no choice.
We have a property up north and I love working in the bush. My flight plan is:
- Look where you are walking and if you can't see, then feel each step before you take the other foot off the ground (such as in rocky ground covered with bracken).
- A hiking stick or chipping hoe can be a handy prop.
- Never walk backwards.
- If you are carrying a chain saw have one like mine which somehow knows to stop when it bites the dust along with its owner.
- Be aware that stumbling is a distinct possibility.
- When the need hits you do it like a professional and minimise risk of injury.
What has kept me going these last 10 years?
The staff at Westmead; a thoughtful wife who looks after me; the love and support of children, friends and work colleagues (though I retired five years ago, I still work part-time); as much physical work and exercise as I can manage (you need it if you are on Prednisone); knowing when to take a rest; knowing that there are plenty of people worse off than I and my faith in God.
The last mentioned is not some vague hope but a walk day by day. I truly believe and trust in him and his word. My Christian beliefs affect every part of my life.
May God bless you in this fallen and imperfect world.
Jim Wilson, Kurrajong NSW